i created a new blog for Tarfia. she left on a 6-week tour of australia, bangladesh, dubai, and maybe thailand. i can't remember exactly. there were a lot of countries on her list that sounded like the local water might require boiling. just kidding. i wish her luck on her trip and with her new blog.

russell and i are all moved in to the new apartment with the help of several friends. we cleaned it and then hosted a super bowl party and it got totally trashed. now we're cleaning again. there's concrete queso in a bowl on the kitchen counter. i'm afraid to go near it. i think it has a legislature and class-based social structure. and highways.

So i'm pretty much unpacked in the new apartment. I have yet to hang anything on the walls, however. That could actually take some thought.

I signed up for swing dance lessons with a girl from work. We were watching Swingers last week and both of us noted how cool it would be to be able to dance like Jon Favreau and Heather Graham in that scene towards the end. I made sure she signed us up before i chickened out. I don't think either of us has any idea what we're getting ourselves into.

Oh yeah, and i saw Hidalgo tonight. It's a rental, folks. Don't bother going to the theater.

My clock radio went off this morning and I was greeted with a Lexus commercial. I noticed some SAT words like fastidious and stringent in the ad. And in pronouncing the word “process,” the speaker used a slight English accent on the ‘o’ so that it sounded like ‘pro.’ What is it about English accents and the perception of intelligence / class? I took a linguistics course in college and I remember reading an article in which the researcher played two sets of recorded speech to subjects: one set was in a standard American accent (or non-accent), the other was in an English accent. The words were the same. Most subjects said the British speaker sounded more intelligent, and even haughty. So I guess it’s not that surprising that Lexus, a classy Japanese automaker, wants to use English accents to make its cars sound classy. But it begs the question: are they gaining customers by using the accent, and what would happen if they used an accent widely associated with a lack of intelligence (Southern, for example) while a not-so-classy automaker used the English accent?

Tarfia was flying into Kuala Lumpur and said the flight attendand told them what:

the time and temperature was and welcomed us to the city of Kuala Lumpur, he informed us in the same tone of voice that drug trafficking was a serious offense and was punished by the mandatory death sentence.

Circuses have always fascinated me. I don’t even particularly like going to them; it’s the idea of a circus that gets me. It’s like a human zoo, except the specimens are all exceptions to the rule – abnormalities, if you will. At least that’s what they used to be. Sword-swallowers and whatnot. It’s a subculture of people bonding based on their differences from the rest of society… and the need for an income.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay was about magic and comics. The Final Confession of Mabel Stark was about the circus. My next book, Learned Pigs and Fireproof Women (recommended by a co-worker) will function as a deeper look into the circus and how it has evolved over time. As soon as I finish those two books off to the right, I’ll get started on this one. Which, at my current rate, translates to about May.

I bought three Squirrel Nut Zippers albums last week and have been listening to them constantly. One stanza in particular always gets me:

Met the ghost of Stephen Foster at the Hotel Paradise
This is what I told him as I gazed into his eyes:
"Ships were made for sinking,
Whiskey made for drinking,
If we were made of cellophane, we’d all get stinking drunk much faster" ha ha ha ha

It seems the Muzak at work was turned up in the past couple of weeks. I happen to sit directly beneath a speaker and get more than my fill of Kenny G, Bee Gees, and other sorry excuses for music. Perhaps I’m being too picky. But what can I say; you’re reading the blog of an accused music snob. If it’s not something I like, it will only irritate me. The musician in me won’t let me tune out the abrasively bland songs coming out of the speaker above my head.

Someone, please, make it stop.

I’ve even asked everyone in my area for their input and they wholeheartedly agreed: the Muzak has to go.

On the other hand, there are disadvantages to getting the Muzak turned off. For example:
1. A nearby woman is an admitted Bee Gees fan, much to everyone’s amusement. When the Bee Gees came on the other day, I ran over to her cube, pointed to the ceiling, and proclaimed in a whisper loud enough for everyone else to hear, “Check it out, the Bee Gees are on!” We all had a good laugh.
2. Supertramp came on, and I, aware of one of my teammate’s affinity for 70’s era rock, leisurely walked by his cube and notified him of the song. He opened a drawer and gleefully pulled out a Supertramp album. I happen to have the same one on vinyl. That was enough to cause a belly laugh or two.
3. “The Long and Winding Road” came on last week. I commented to my cube neighbor, a 50-something retired Air Force Squadron Commander, on the excellent (and rare) Muzak choice. We spent a few minutes talking Beatles and bonded over the magnificence of “Hey Jude.”

Such distractions from work are welcome and entertaining.

Regardless, the Muzak has to go. It disturbs more than it pleases. So I tried to do the politically correct thing and pursue the proper channels to get it turned off or at least turned down. I’ve encountered roadblock after roadblock and am ready to give up. But there is one individual I have yet to get a response from: a nearby secretary apparently has the final say over the Muzak. She’s on vacation. I’ve emailed her and dropped by her cube a few times, waiting for her glorious return. When she resumes her post, I will kindly ask for her to see about getting the Muzak turned off. Wish me luck.

I lived in Moscow for two strange years. From 1993-1995 I did nothing but listen to music, read, stare out the window, and watch MTV Europe. It was an odd mix to say the least. MTV Europe was, at the time, pretty damn good. They actually played music and reached to all parts of Europe for the newest bands.

One video I remember clearly was Whale’s “Hobo Humpin' Slobo Babe.” The song rocks and the lyrics are completely nonsensical. I forgot about it for years but spontaneously recalled its wacky title and groovy beat some time last year. Lo and behold, I was able to download it and was instantly transported to 1994. Click here to hear an 11-second clip.

Here’s a review of their new album. It’s from pitchfork, so don’t hold your breath.

happy v-day (a little early, perhaps). here's what to get your favorite Nirvana fan: a copy of the band's first release on Sub Pop, the Love Buzz/Big Cheese 45, is on ebay right now for the bargain price of $521.87. One thousand of these were pressed and they were hand numbered. Collectors, get your credit cards handy - it gets better. This copy is owned by Chad Channing's (one of Nirvana's early drummers) parents. He will sign it before shipping.

PS: the reserve price has not been met...

addendum: ok, i'm an idiot. the auction ended on February 1st. never mind.

in case you don't know what LOITERING means.

Have you heard of a band called Muse? Jon introduced me to them the other day and I’m hooked. They’re from Manchester, England and they’re awesome. He had a copy of their album Absolution on his computer at work so he stealthily stored it on the LAN while I went to my computer, copied it to my drive, and erased all trace of its existence (the LAN is more or less off limits to non-work-related bafoonery).

Think of Radiohead’s The Bends with extra shots of rock, dynamics, and instrumentation. They roll piano, strings, some electronic, and a standard rock band into a tight, cohesive package. Give them a try.

While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off of the floor and spin it clockwise. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction and there's nothing you can do about it.

Thanks, Marty, for the tip.

Biere de Mars has once again hit the shelves - reason enough for me to declare spring's return.

Biere De Mars is New Belgium's exploration of the classic French and Belgian brews celebrating the half-winter, half-spring month of March. Our bottle-conditioned version, however, goes where no BIERE DE MARS has gone before. After gazing at its cloudy, yet glowing orange hue, prepare yourself for a celestial collaboration of oats, wheat, barley malt and lemon verbena. All of which is set into orbit by unidentified flying yeast strains.

Primus and Sonic Youth are both on tour this spring. This is my first time seeing both bands and I’m pysched. I’m especially excited to see Les do his thing on stage cuz, well, he’s not human. Any musician will testify to this fact. Hell, even the non-musically inclined think he’s whack.

And being the dumbass that I am, I bought a SY ticket for the Houston show when I intended to see the Austin show. If anyone is interested in freeing me of my superfluous ticket, let me know.

I signed up for swing dance lessons fully intending to end up with the skill Jon Favreau displayed in Swingers. It ain’t gonna happen. Yesterday was my first day of lessons and the teacher tried to teach us three different swing dance techniques in a 90-minute period. Shit, I can hardly walk straight let alone learn ONE dance move in one night of dancing. I have no idea how my dance partner will tolerate me for six weeks of dance lessons. I’m glad she has a good sense of humor. She should probably also invest in some good steel-toed shoes.

Some friends and I were joking at work that we have so much to do that our heads were going to implode. This reminded me of black holes and neutron stars. Following a brief explanation of what neutron stars are, I poked around google for an informative site and found this one. This, in a nutshell, is a neutron star:

”Neutron stars are the collapsed cores of some massive stars. They pack roughly the mass of our Sun into a region the size of a city.”

This eductional moment brought to you by,
particleman

me, sometime in the future: i have a question

ps: i made the month text in the calendar a functional link and ended up throwing all my fonts out of whack. please ignore any font size or color weirdnesses. but feel free to use the month link, it sorts the posts by month.

"you know how they dub bad words in movies? On the plane to Malaysia from Australia, I watched "Stuck On You," and they replaced "motherfucker" with "goat's bladder."