my horoscope, according to Comedy Central:

This week parking a car will be perilous! Beware of skateboarders rolling by as you open your door and beware of cat dung on the curb as you exit your car. Cat dung, you ask? Yes, cat dung. The stars say some totally whack Cancer is emptying out full litter boxes into the streets for kicks. Really? Yes really. This week Cancer and ya'll are like oil and water. You are not meant to mix, but if you do the effect will be a lot like a rather tasty vinaigrette.