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fortune cookie birthday

A line of work I’d like to try for at least a day is fortune cookie authoring. You get to write a short blurb that people look forward to reading after a meal no matter how bad the food. Everyone knows it’s only a matter of time, but the suspense is in wondering if you’ll get something cool or, in some cases, even be able to decipher it. My favorites are those in the latter group – fortunes that don’t really seem like fortunes. Fortunes that provoke a question mark as opposed to an exclamation point. Fortunes that seem like something your mom would say if she were high. Fortunes that urge you to learn words in a foreign language that you probably wouldn’t use in the home country.

Today is my roommate’s birthday. In honor of his 24th, I present three such fortunes. Happy birthday, dude. I know this is a weird gift, but I promise it will be accompanied by alcohol on Thursday.

Comments (4)

p-man:

when did you make fortune cookies?! was i absent that day or something? weird. anyway, yes, i am coming into town this weekend. check yer email.

amanda:

URL: http://
hey you know i've made fortune cookies before! it's lots of fun you should try it. don't you have messenger or AIM or something at work? i'm tired of editing... email me or something. you coming into town this weekend?

p-man:

perv minds think alike.

heh - .... in bed.

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