First, it was the dishwasher. Now, I’ve come to the realization that the walls are made of notebook paper. Ok, maybe printer paper, but I’ll go no further. I can hear the guy across the wall close his kitchen cabinets. Run the faucet. Walk around in his bathroom when I’m walking around in mine. I can even NAME the BRAND of his cell phone, ‘cause I had a Samsung for a week, and the ring options were all fantastically annoying.

Shall we discuss his phone habits? Lets.

The phone rings twice and only twice, at which point it either goes to the answering service or is picked up. By him. That guy next door. Or so I assume. Thankfully, I can’t hear the conversation, because who knows what kinds of conversations are had by a guy who would buy and keep a Samsung phone. They could be reprehensible. Or completely inane. Or completely mundane. Either way, I’m glad the printer-paper walls filter out that part of his daily activity. I already know enough of his habits. Most calls, from what I gather, occur between the hours of eight and eleven p.m, with the occasional midnight to two a.m. drunk dialer (we’ve all been there). I’m gone most of the day, so I have no empirical evidence of calling trends during the daylight hours.

The lesson here is that, if you must live in an apartment with shoddy construction and Japanese-lantern-paper-thick walls, please, don’t use a Samsung phone. At the least, familiarize yourself with the SILENT (aka Vibrate) option. Your neighboring law student will be very happy.