You approach a crosswalk on a rainy morning and neglect to notice the puddle of water at the curb. Likewise, speeding cars neglect to see you standing at the curb and splash the fuck out of you. Good morning, you’re soaked.

You get started on a research assignment (in the midst of working a 15 to 20-page paper and studying for finals) and realize the teacher severely underestimated the amount of time the assignment will take. His “about an hour” turns into two. And you’re only about 2/3rds done. Meanwhile, your paper isn’t close to finished and finals are looming. You begin to wonder if law school should be outlawed as cruel and unusual punishment. You decide it should.

You sit in class, bored, and look at outlines you got from people that took your class last year. One of the outlines is 40 pages. You eyes begin to water.

You recall a scene in Team America and laugh to yourself. Man, let’s hope Matt Damon has a good sense of humor.