It’s called Chanukkah, or Hanukkah, if you don’t like the ‘ch’ sound (which many of you probably don’t, and I won’t hold it against you). Yes yes, I know there happens to be some other holiday with trees and lights and the “sucking up [of] energy into a void of tackiness” also on the 25th. But this is the first time I can remember Chanukkah’s first night coinciding with Christmas.

Christians have it easy. Their holiday always falls on the same day. December 25th. No muss, no fuss. But for Jews in America, Chanukkah is an elusive bastard, shifting around from early-December to mid-December to late-December at will. Actually, it’s not so much Chanukkah’s fault as the difference between the Christian (Gregorian) solar calendar and the Jewish solar-lunar calendar. While the Gregorians add an extra day every four years, the Jews add an extra month every now and then. The exact calculations of when to add the extra month are too complex for me to explain here. I also don’t understand them, so that’s another excuse.

What all this hullabaloo means is that Jews are faced with the same question every year from their non-Jewish (or Jewish and absent-minded) friends: So when is Chanukkah this year? My usual answer: damifiknow. The Gregorian and Jewish calendars are in a constant state of flux, so it’s hard to tell when things will happen.

OK, I just really wanted to use the word “flux.” Great word.

So, whatever your holiday fancy, whether it be hanging tacky lights on your rain gutters, lighting 36 candles, or doing something else that’s vaguely religious or cultural in nature, remember this: there were times when doing these things was forbidden. And there are people in the world who want no other gift than to be with the ones they care about, and for some reason, will not have their wish fulfilled. Those of us who can have that should be thankful.

And since we’re already being sappy, why not top it off with this: in light of Skorloff’s astute observation a few weeks ago, we at particleman.org hope you enjoy your tradition - however lame it might be. And trust us, it probably is lame.

Links to particleman.org’s Chanukkah past: