« story time | Main | the vacation continues »

i am ape-man

after umpteen months of not working out, i went to the gym last night. the first thing i noticed was that the guys started eye-balling me. they looked me up and down and then looked away. granted, i don't think these guys were the types that dig guys, so that couldn't have been the reason for the glaring looks. i think it had more of a territorial feel. as if i were invading on their space, looking at their women. i half expected them to beat there chests and urinate on the closest stack of weights.

the next thing i noticed happened this morning. when i woke up, i couldn't fully straighten my arms. when i stood up, the elbows stuck out. i walk like an ape now. when i try to straighten out my arm, i get grimacing pain in the inner-elbow area. this is what i get for being a slacker for so long - stiff muscles. and an ape-man gait. i guess i fit in with the chest-beating yahoos at the gym. sweet. excuse me while i pee on the bench press.

Comments (11)

heatherfeather:

URL: http://
since i didn't know the kinks song, the song that got stuck in my head when i read this was a little ditty you may know about someone named paul being the walrus and someone else being the eggman. goo goo ka choo.

carrico:

URL: http://
a quick check on google reveals that "ape man" is in fact a kink song.... gotta love google. btw, did you see that google won't reveal their search records to the US Gestapo? it makes me feel better that they won't know i've been looking up early 19th century amish swimwear......

p-man:

URL: http://
ok, now i'm confused. where is the Kinks reference?

URL: http://stevehouchin.blogspot.com
Now I've got the song stuck in my head, and I only know the chorus. Still, I like the Kinks.

maybe you can pick off lice from the other ape-men.

p-man:

i suppose riding around town trouserless is not a problem. but it might have negative effects on that "sensitive guy" thing carrico is talking about...

heatherfeather:

URL: http://
where's the problem with you wandering around houston (or riding the g-ride) trouserless?

carrico:

URL: http://
you need to go to the gym?!?! watch out, if you get too buff you'll lose the "sensitive guy" image that chicks melt like butter for...

p-man:

URL: http://
it's worse this morning. i could hardly put my pants on. this is actually becoming a problem. yes, keep donating to 24 hour. i hear they do great things. quite the worthy cause.

heather:

URL: http://
sore muscles are so gratifying - evidence that you've actually done something athletic. i vaguely remember what they feel like. and good for you for hitting the gym! i continue to donate money to the 24 hour fitness foundation every month. i hear it's a nice place.

heatherfeather:

i am having the same issues with my arms and lower back. not my legs, however. just as a status report, you know.

Post a comment

Verification (needed to reduce spam):

This page contains a single entry from particleman.org posted on January 9, 2006 9:25 PM.

The previous post in this blog was story time.

The next post in this blog is the vacation continues.

Others may be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

all original work protected under creative commons license. powered by Movable Type 3.34. you waive all DTPA and UCC claims by loading this page. our lawyers made us say this.