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confession

I am fortunate enough to have many different pockets of friends from the various lives I live or have lived. They are all amazing people. But when I get some of them together, I find it hard to play the host – especially when they’re meeting for the first time. I worry (a trait I got from my mom) that they aren’t having fun or the conversation bores them. I worry that I’m neglecting some while talking to others.

This is all made more complex because I tend to thrive in smaller social settings with two or three people. Any more than that and I feel overwhelmed. But I like getting lots of them together because I think they will get along, find things they have in common, and perhaps become friends themselves. So what I do in larger social setting is make my own mini-parties of two or three people. Usually it works. Occasionally it doesn’t.

This is also made more complex because I over-analyze everything (see every post on this website).

In the end, though, I think people have a good time whether or not I try to be the perfect host, and they don’t expect me to be everywhere at once. But sometimes, I do.

And that’s when I say to myself: “fuggit.”

Comments (4)

carrico:

i hear ya, i can attest to your quite diverse range of friends, and whilst attending your parties in the past must say i enjoyed them. relax, homie.

p-man:

ugh. the downfalls of trying to play host. free booze, or even available booze free or not, seems to be the key. alcohol - the social lubricant.

tarflet:

URL: http://
oh oh one more thing...what is worse is when you have been told, "i can't wait for you to meet so and so, you'll LOVE them and vice versa" and it turns out not to be true and then you feel like poopy, but it's no one's fault really, which makes it kind of poopier.

tarflet:

URL: http://
word, boob. it totally sucks to manage people's expectations when really everyone is pretty happy if some of the booze is free. i'm completely anxiety-prone, in all sorts of ways, so i tend to avoid hosting large and diverse groups these days. but i'll host you any day... ;)

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