I have this friend in Dallas. He's 26. He has two BMWs, a motorcycle, his own condo, and a bunch of random toys and gadgets to add "fun" and/or complexity to his life. He also has three degrees and is one of the smartest people I know. The other night, we had one of those conversations about life that makes you sit back and say, "I need a drink." Here are a couple excerpts cleaned up for your viewing pleasure. Words in [brackets] have been replaced for something less lewd. He gave me permission to post it. Names have been changed. Keep in mind Dallas Guy is more jaded than the average 26-year-old. He's a little on the bitter side for living in the same city his entire life.
(9:04:35 PM) Dallas Guy: so now where do I go?
(9:04:44 PM) Particleman: whereever your heart desires
(9:04:44 PM) Dallas Guy: if I had a plan I'd go do it already
(9:04:51 PM) Dallas Guy: or hell, if I had a goal
(9:04:56 PM) Dallas Guy: I can make plans
(9:05:08 PM) Particleman: tell me about your ideal week
(9:05:13 PM) Dallas Guy: I was always goal driven for everything my whole life
(9:05:19 PM) Particleman: regardless of location or cost of living
(9:05:24 PM) Dallas Guy: and now Ive met all my goals
(9:05:46 PM) Dallas Guy: my ideal week is one where I go solving
problems all day long and I never do anything repetitive
(9:06:09 PM) Dallas Guy: and then I go home and [sleep with] some hot chick that argues with me about politics and tries to put me in my place
(9:06:27 PM) Particleman: you want marriage
(9:06:47 PM) Particleman: and a cool job
(9:06:54 PM) Dallas Guy: but not to some dumb jewish chick that was raised to be a trophy
(9:07:14 PM) Dallas Guy: I want a smart ambitious girl that's out to prove her d*ck is bigger than mine
(9:07:45 PM) Particleman: but you didn't dispute the original statement
(9:07:48 PM) Dallas Guy: and the cool job, I think I know the route on
that, its just timing now
(9:07:49 PM) Particleman: you want marriage
(9:07:52 PM) Dallas Guy: I do
(9:07:56 PM) Particleman: you want it now?
(9:08:10 PM) Dallas Guy: not necessarily
(9:08:17 PM) Dallas Guy: in the next 3 years though
(9:08:35 PM) Particleman: thats what you think. you are totally in your quarter life crisis
(9:08:55 PM) Particleman: you are sick of the daily grind and are just waiting for the next cool thing
(9:09:55 PM) Dallas Guy: It's totally a quarter life crisis
(9:09:59 PM) Dallas Guy: in a bad bad way
(9:10:20 PM) Particleman: you bought the cars, the motorcycle, the toys, the crazy trips to far off places
(9:10:37 PM) Dallas Guy: that sounds more like a midlife crisis
(9:10:48 PM) Dallas Guy: thats what makes mine unique
(9:11:06 PM) Dallas Guy: most quarter life people are busy trying to find something stable to call home
(9:11:25 PM) Dallas Guy: I'm tired of the stable and craving anything else which is the midlife crisis
(9:12:26 PM) Dallas Guy: its like a desperate attempt to convert the fruits of my previous labor (salary, savings, freedom, etc...) into excitement for my otherwise uneventful life
(9:12:40 PM) Dallas Guy: only to be left with an uneventful life and lots of toys
(9:13:09 PM) Dallas Guy: I should probably talk to some 50 year olds about their midlife crisis
(9:13:17 PM) Dallas Guy: and their personal resolution to it
(9:14:05 PM) Particleman: i disagree. you have the new young-professional quarter life crisis
(9:14:36 PM) Particleman: your life turned into that of a 40 year old and it freaks you out. 9-5 job. house note. car note. traffic. monotony. boring job. you miss the excitement of being young(er) and without obligations and responsibilities
(9:14:59 PM) Dallas Guy: I guess thats it
(9:15:04 PM) Dallas Guy: so how do u fix it
(9:15:39 PM) Particleman: leave dallas. find a better job and/or move to a new place. just don't carry your problems around with you. and realize there will always be obligations and sh*t
...
(9:18:24 PM) Dallas Guy: right after I bought my place i realized that this was the beginning of the end of my life
(9:18:35 PM) Particleman: nothing is that permanent
(9:18:54 PM) Dallas Guy: it's like the people at work. they all have the same life as me
(9:19:15 PM) Dallas Guy: they have a job, some random hobbies, some loans, and whatever
(9:19:22 PM) Dallas Guy: some are married, some have kids
(9:19:31 PM) Dallas Guy: but in the end it's slavery to a system
(9:19:48 PM) Dallas Guy: and we do it so we can buy bigger houses and fancier cars
(9:19:53 PM) Particleman: give me a break. slavery my ass.
(9:20:09 PM) Dallas Guy: indentured servitude sound better?
(9:20:21 PM) Particleman: you're useless man
(9:20:30 PM) Dallas Guy: I really think I would be happy living in a jungle
(9:20:36 PM) Dallas Guy: or the side of a mountain
(9:20:44 PM) Dallas Guy: killing sh*t to eat when I got hungry
(9:20:57 PM) Dallas Guy: and otherwise banging some [sexy] jungle chick
(9:21:16 PM) Particleman: can i put that on my website?
(9:21:22 PM) Dallas Guy: put what
(9:21:30 PM) Particleman: your jungle thing
(9:21:32 PM) Particleman: that's funny
(9:21:33 PM) Dallas Guy: sure
(9:21:53 PM) Particleman: lol
(9:22:00 PM) Particleman: my site is too clean for that
(9:22:06 PM) Dallas Guy: u gonna keep the [sexy] jungle chick
(9:22:20 PM) Dallas Guy: you can use nicer words
And so I did.
Comments (12)
holy cow, i remember when pants heard about the woman they found running around naked in the jungle in vietnam he was SO stoked.
he was a little bummed to see she wasn't that hot once pics surfaced...
Posted by heatherfeather | June 12, 2007 12:32 PM
Posted on June 12, 2007 12:32
hah. personally, i don't think i'd make it in the jungle. i wouldn't be able to kill anything except bugs.
Posted by particleman | June 12, 2007 12:59 PM
Posted on June 12, 2007 12:59
I am willing to take one for Team Humanity and I will prostitute myself once and only this once in order for Dallas Guy to get laid. I will only do this if he will promise not to be bitter for the following 48 hours. I will deflower him and make him scream louder than any jungle woman ever will.
Posted by pajama grrrl | June 12, 2007 1:24 PM
Posted on June 12, 2007 13:24
This reminds me of the existential crisis in I Heart Huckabees.
You should refer your friend to Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer. It addresses the whole quitting the civil life and heading into the wilderness thing pretty well.
Posted by MPB | June 12, 2007 1:30 PM
Posted on June 12, 2007 13:30
Particleman failed in translating my jungle woman description. "Sexy" is definitely not the word I would use, so to avoid my original wording how about "sexy jungle chick" becomes "jungle chick like the ones you see on national geographic".
Pajama girl, I love the offer, I could de-crankify for like a week given incentive.
Posted by dallasguy | June 12, 2007 2:01 PM
Posted on June 12, 2007 14:01
please use protection. i don't even want to imagine the kind of love-child you guys would create. but i'm glad my site is helping bring people "together."
those of you who want to know what dallas guy really said, you can email me. the address is "what" at this domain (ie, particleman.org). be forewarned it's kind of raunchy.
oh yeah -MPB is right. Dallas, you need to read Into The Wild. It will make you very glad for grocery stores and your condo.
Posted by particleman | June 12, 2007 3:57 PM
Posted on June 12, 2007 15:57
DG:
Is an electric guitar and 40 hours of $85/hour studio time really too much bother?
Posted by Soundman | June 12, 2007 5:27 PM
Posted on June 12, 2007 17:27
That Into the Wild kid pissed me off. Dallas Guy, only read it if you are actually contemplating going to live in the woods on a whim without any, you know, survival skills.
My vote would be to get rid of the unnecessary material goods, get the hell out of Dallas and travel the world. You're 26! Why do you need to live like a middle-aged, suburban husband? Ugg, and don't get married yet. If you think you're in a self-imposed prison now, then trust me, marriage is going to be much worse.
Go to the jungle. Have wild jungle sex. Or hell, go live on the beach in Costa Rica for awhile!
Posted by Heather | June 12, 2007 7:54 PM
Posted on June 12, 2007 19:54
Heather may be on to something.
Join the Peace Corps. They'll feed and train you and send you somewhere to do something worthwhile, possibly near a jungle.
Or take the foreign service exam and become a diplomat. The country will certainly need smart people to help restore our international image starting Jan 2009.
Posted by Soundman | June 12, 2007 10:09 PM
Posted on June 12, 2007 22:09
I wasn't proposing Into the Wild as a reason not to get the hell out of Dallas (as if you needed a reason). Its more of a cautionary tale in regards to respecting the wilderness, etc, etc. That Chris McCandless guy actually had a good thing going (canoeing in Mexico, hiking in the Southwest) until he decided to go live in Alaska with 10 pounds of rice and a .22.
I agree with Heather and Soundman tho, get the hell out into the world. You'll be much happier that way.
And by the way, marriage isn't prison, its more like indentured servitude really.
just kidding.
especially if my wife is reading this.
i gotta go.
Posted by MPB | June 13, 2007 7:55 AM
Posted on June 13, 2007 07:55
LOL @ MPB (yes, i actually laughed out loud)
Posted by particleman | June 13, 2007 11:56 AM
Posted on June 13, 2007 11:56
Although I dont really know any of you, I appreciate all the ideas. I think I like the peace corps in spirit but Ill be brutally honest, dire poverty, sickness and hunger are not things I particularly want to be around. A diplomat job requires tact and diplomacy, two things I would not consider to be my strongest attributes.
I dont want to sound like a naysayer, your comments definitely got me thinking. I was actually thinking instead of peace corps i could work for the military as an engineer but Im too antisocial (In the psychological personality trait sense where I have a huge disregard for authority) and the military will probably not be my happy place.
Im going to give this some more thought and maybe even start a blog to document and get feedback on where I want to go with my bad self.
Finally, MPB, from what I hear marriage is indentured servitude which you get tricked into after a bait and switch scheme that happens to put you at a very disadvantaged position to walk away. Almost sounds like the FTC should get involved. Its really pretty sick, but it still sounds fun. According to freud, we go through life with the primary goal of minimizing stress and one day when you do, you get bored and die. If there is truth to this, marriage is probably a good way to live longer.
Posted by dallasguy | June 13, 2007 2:11 PM
Posted on June 13, 2007 14:11