I don't live in Houston anymore. It feels a little wierd saying that. I live in Dallas now. I still feel like I'm just visiting, or I'm only here for the summer, or that I'm just here for the week. It's odd. Dallas isn't new to me, but it isn't completely familiar either. But it's good. I needed a change. I'm excited. I don't start work till the 20th, so between now and then, I will be hanging out, getting settled, and drinking on a beach in Mexico. I really need to decompress. I also plan on making a trip down to San Antonio to see some friends, so if you're in SA, plan to see me in mid-August. Mark your calendar or PDA or whatever.

I'm at the Apple Store checking email right now. My roomie and I don't have internet yet and it feels kind of cool. I like it. For now. But I'm sure I'll start going crazy soon enough. We'll probably sign up when we get back from Mexico. I'm sure Pajama Grrl, Evil I, and I will have some good stories for you when we get back. Till then.

Posted by MPB:

Is the whole twenty-something summer wedding circuit getting you down? Me too. It has really started to get ridiculous. I am making plans to go to my fourth and fifth weddings of the summer right now. As both of these are immediate family, skipping is not an option. I already skipped two other weddings for not-so-immediate family this year.

Does everyone else run into this issue? Seems like a large number of my friends are regularly just getting back from a wedding or going to a wedding soon. Now, I like to go drink on someone else’s tab while seeing friends and family as much as the next guy, but these plane tickets are really starting to add up. If more of my friends were getting married in places like the Carribean, I wouldn’t have an issue with it. But I’m stuck going places like Oklahoma and Kentucky. Please: stop getting married.

P.S. Yes I did just get married a few summers ago, and yes, I do recognize the hypocrisy in this post. Rant over.

-MPB

I'm in Isla Mujeres off the coast of Cancun with Pajama Grrl and Evil I and we're having a blast. the water really is as blue as the pictures. We rented mo-peds to ride around the island yesterday and it resulted in a spectacular crash by yours truly. I clearly have no concept of how to regulate speed on a motorized two wheeled vehicle. I'm not even that great at regulating speed on a non-motorized two wheeled vehicle, to be honest.

The first problem was that my scooter kept stalling on me, so they gave me a new one. By the time the new one was fueled up and ready to go, my friends had already ridden off, so i hauled ass to catch up with them, found myself on a sandy road and accidentally gunned the throttle instead of pulling the brakes. You see, i have a habit of twisting the grips on my bike when riding, so when i twisted the grips on the scooter, it did exactly the opposite of what i wanted it to do. When i realized i had speed up and thay i was heading right for a parked go-kart, i turned the wheel and slammed on the brakes, thus causing the rear wheel to depart from its normal course and slide away from beneath me, sending me right-shoulder first to the ground.

It was glorious. Yes, i was wearing a helmet. But I was also wearing shorts and sandals, so my leg and toes are pretty torn up. Thankfully, i didn't lose a toenail.

But now that i have gotten the hang of riding motorized two wheeled vehicles, i kind of want a motorcycle...

Next on the agenda: more beer, more beach, more Mexican food, and more Neosporin to help my cuts heal.

I'm taking a vacation from my vacation. I forgot how totally exhausting vacations can be. Well, this was one wasn't that exhausting. I did log a good 30 hours of beach time, which basically equates to sitting under an umbrella sipping on mojitos. It was good. Much needed. I also turned into something of a tri-color version of myself. Some was my usual pasty white, some was burned, some was tan. I'm not telling you which part was which.

As for retelling the story of the vacation, so much happened during the course of those seven days that I can't really remember it all and I'm having a hard time figuring out how to recount the trip.

Ok, the real reason I can't remember it all is that the sun or the alcohol beat all memory capability out of me. We all got kind of loopy after a while. I do remember a few things though.

- The seafood was excellent. I spent the whole week eating fish and shrimp.
- Mexicans like their mojitos really sweet. There was a cache of sugar at the bottom of every one (more so than usual).
- My tolerance for alcohol has sadly gone up.
- Mexican women are gorgeous. I think I want one.
- Aussies, Israelis, Brits, Italians, and Germans love Mexico. They were everywhere.
- Restaurant owners assumed my friends and I were Israeli, and first spoke to us in Hebrew instead of English. Evil I does look kind of Israeli (he's brown). Thankfully, Evil I and I do speak Hebrew, so we were able to correct the mistaken restauranteurs.
- When I spoke to members of the public, a mix of English, Spanish, and Hebrew came out.
- In case you forgot, "C" on the shower knob stands for "calor," not cold.
- If you get a Mexican cabbie on coke, hold on tight. Try closing your eyes for extra fun.
- Seat belts are kind of pointless because you'd probably rather die in the accident than get sent to a hospital.
- Bus drivers drive like they're in a small compact car.
- Taking a bus is always more fun than taking a cab.
- It helps to know the CEO of a nightclub on the Cancun strip.
- White sand and turquoise water are intoxicating.

More memories may trickle in over the coming days. Who knows what's rolling around up there.

I start the job on Monday. I'm excited. My boss will apparently be out of town for my whole first week, so that should make things interesting. Oh yeah, and some fun facts about my apartment (a duplex): When we arrived, there were no numbers on the house, so I wandered around for 20 minutes before I found the place. The dishwasher did not work. The previous occupant felt a minimal need to clean before moving out. The back door did not lock. My shower drain did not drain. The smoke detectors were simply decoration. But everything is slowly getting fixed and our landlord is great, and the apartment itself is spacious and nice. Pajama Grrl and I are happy. No, PJ and I are not dating. Get those dirty ideas out of your head.

Particleman and I are not dating. I just wanted to reiterate. In fact, right now I have some anger towards the male race, minus my nice male friends. Nice being the key word. I do not understand why it is so difficult to be a decent male person. I am done ranting, now I am off to New York City.

-Angry Pajama Grrl

I did. Just to remind you of why you need to buy some too:

Yesterday morning I was driving around in my snazzy V8 BMW when all of a sudden I got a call with an offer. My father who has a similar car was selling his and asked me if I wanted to take the wheels from his car to put on mine. This was a great offer because his wheels look way better than mine.

I go to the tire place and tell the guy to switch the wheels on the car and he does so and I pay. As I am leaving my dad makes a joke like "I hope you tightened all the lug nuts." I drive off in my snazzy car make it barely a quarter mile and my car starts to shake in a bad way. I turned on my hazard lights and started to slow down when my rear driver's side wheel went air born. It flew down my lane, then across the street of oncoming traffic, bounced higher than I could have ever imagined, and landed on the roof of an SUV. Then it rolled off and knocked the mirror off another car. Now my poor baby is out of commission, and if the tire place refuses to pay or is uninsured or something, all of this will end up on me and my rates will go up. Furthermore, it wasted my Saturday afternoon, and this is the type of thing that is only really funny when it happens to someone else or it's way after the fact. In my case it happened to me and I am still pissed off.

I'm going to Boston for work for a couple days. It's only my second time in Boston and I'm really excited. I had a great time last time I was there.

In other news, I went to an 80's party on Saturday night and I have great pictures of my outfit. Or rather, Evil I has pictures. I think. Someone took pictures of me in that sweet turquoise blazer...

I have installed an air conditioner on a car before and have charged many car air conditioners for people legally after a 5 minute "training" from the sales guy at autozone. I figured home units could not be much harder so I was not deterred by the "safety concerns." I have researched what is involved in doing it at home and would like to share my findings.

#1: Freon is probably less dangerous than half the cleaning chemicals in your house. The biggest danger is that you may forget to breathe oxygen if you are in an enclosed space or that it is a compressed gas and it could blow up in your face (maybe, i suppose its possible, but it would be a special event). Either way I ain't skeerd.

#2: EPA regulations do not actually force you to repair slow leaks on small home units (as long as they really are slow leaks on small units)

#3: With approximately 100 dollars in equipment, you can probably service and install your own AC units. At 75 dollars minimum per service call, this seems like a decent investment.

And now (drum roll please) for the best secret of them all

#4: In order to service the units, you do need an EPA cert. If you are interested in getting one to call your own, it costs 25 dollars. It is a 50 question open book multiple choice test that you can do online. You have 3 hours and unlimited chances to take it. I took a sample test for fun with no preparation or even a printout of the book and scored 29/50. The score I need to pass is 42/50. A sample question was "You dehydrate the system to A)Remove oil B)Remove water D)remove freon"

Just thought I would share.

I'm back from my trip. Turns out we didn't go to Boston. We went to Cambridge, which is close enough if you ask me. It was essentially a trade show combined with seminars given by experts in the field. And by trade show, I mean that I sat at a booth with a marketing person from my firm and met all kinds of intelligent and interesting people, some of whom are on the cutting edge of the industry. The industry I'm talking about is the information security and privacy industry, i.e., the protection of your personal information as it is held by financial institutions and other companies that might get access to your personal info.

I met computer security professors from George Washington University, law professors from the John Marshall School Of Law, VPs from AIG, directors from Shell, attorneys from USAA, security people from Microsoft, so on and so forth. It was incredible. I had a really good time.

Now for the weird stuff. I went to a pub with my colleague and bought us beer at the counter. I made a motion to sit at a table, and the bartender said, "You can't sit at a table if you buy beer at the counter." What? What kind of stupid-ass rule is that? Aren't I spending money regardless? I offer to buy food at the table, and the bartender acquiesces. My colleague and I pick a table which could seat four or five people. There are only two of us, however. Right after we sit down, a waitress approaches us and says, "If it's just the two of you, you can't sit there, you have to sit at a smaller table." What the &#%@!!! Can we please drink our beers in peace! Fine. We go to a smaller table for two.

After a while, I get word from my boss that she's coming by to have a drink with us. Her client meeting had ended. I drag an empty table over to ours to make room for her, at which point our new waitress says, "Why did you do that, do you have more people coming?" No, I just like having extra space for my imaginary friends. Can't you see them? YES, more people are coming. She asks how many. Ugh! "Two," I tell her. Turns out it was only one, but screw it, I don't give a damn by this point. Oh yeah, and I didn't think much of their quesadillas either, but that was to be expected. Hell, we were in Massachusetts. I will not name this particular pub to save it from any embarrassment. If you want to know, post a comment and leave your email address.

That was the not-so-great service experience. The good service experience came from a burger joint called Charlies Kitchen (no, it doesn't have an apostrophe before the 's'). Our waitress was 78 years old and had worked there for 45 years. She was a sweetheart and totally entertaining, but unfortunately their iced tea was not that sweet. In fact, it tasted a little like cough syrup. But my colleague and I bought T-shirts nonetheless. For the record, we got the signature double cheeseburger. Get it. The fries are good too.

Overall, I found the trip a success. We met some great people, possibly got some new clients, learned a lot about the industry, and gained more exposure for our firm. Mission accomplished.

To pre-empt some questions: no, I did not have any chowder. No, I did not pick up a Boston accent. Yes, I did visit Harvard but was not that impressed (sorry, the grounds were kind of lame). Yes, I did go to the Harvard Co-op, which they strangely call The Coop. Those crazy New Englanders.

I was happy to discover that my newly-adopted city has a Jersey Mike's Subs. I ate at Jersey Mike's three times per week while studying for the Bar and never got sick of it. They slice the deli meat right there in front of you! None of that sitting in a plastic tray business. I think they are the best subs I've ever had.

Oh yeah, and what also makes me happy is that US Attorney General Alberto Gonzales resigned. It pains me because he is a native Texan and the first Hispanic AG, but he was one shady mofo. I'm sure that once all the dust settles, he will have a comfortable life of giving speeches and teaching law school courses. Not bad if you ask me.