These are texts i've saved or have gotten in the past. I've been compiling this list for a while. NOTE: this post is kind of dirty... relatively speaking. I put an asterisk here and there to avoid getting too much of the wrong kind of traffic (and spam comments).

Idea stolen from Sara B.

Oh no too much cyber s*x?

Do you need it today or will tonight work?

Boot camp bitch.

You are awesome even in your jewish ness.

Am i google?

You bad boy.

I am on the plane stuck between some old lady that wont shut up and dumb jocks that wont stop giggling and my ipod broke last night. God hates me.

P*ssy.

You don't want your Israeli princess slutting out.

I dont want another gay friend. i have reached capacity. go team *** job!

Survived my first prick encounter.

I will pay you back in snobby beer.

What is the difference between a jewish woman and a christian woman? Christian women have real orgasms and fake jewelery.

It is madness here.

Thank you captain obvious.

Christ compels you!