While we're on the topic of Mexico, and fake cities, I was fishing around in my wallet the other day and found the following slip of paper I picked up at one of the hotels Pajama Grrl, Evil I, and I stayed at while in Cancun. It said (yes, in caps):

SI UD NADA CON DELFINES, CONTRIBUYE A QUE MUCHOS MUER DURANTE SU CAPTURA

The English translation said:

IF YOU SWIM WITH DOLPHINS, YOU CONTRIBUTE TO MANY OF THEM DIE DURING THE CAPTURE

I'd like to reiterate that this message came in a handy, portable medium, capable of being folded up, placed in a pocket or wallet, and retrieved later additional consultation. You know, in case you forgot what it said.

We're three, we're three were three in the dark tonight
And baby my snake is a shark tonight

-Kiss Kiss by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs

The best part is how she says "shark." It's part sung, part whispered.

I almost forgot to wish you all a Happy Happy Chanukkah. Tonight is the sixth night, so don't forget to light your candles (if you are so inclined).

In other news, I have been the sad victim of yet another one of my infamous neck strains. I seem to have a habit of pulling the muscles that connect my neck, shoulders, and back together all at once. It normally happens when I get stressed out over something and crane my neck in the shower because the shower head is too low. It happened during finals last semester. It happened while I was studying for the bar too. Just ask my classmates. I walked around like I was wearing an imaginary neck brace. The strain makes it painful for my to tilt my head upwards. Most of the pain is in my right shoulder and the right side of my neck. Just lifting up a drink with my right hand causes pain. Thankfully, I also have a left hand, so I can still drink.

Tonight I am very excited to lie down on my heating pad. My parents have had it since the 70s (and you can tell). It's awesome. I lay it on the pillow and rest the sore part of my neck on the heating pad. It's almost as good as a massage.

That I am posting about neck pains and heating pads is testament to how lame my life has become. For those of you wondering how Particleman is fairing in his newly adopted city, you now have the scoop. Neck pain, heating pads, and drinking. And Chanukkah.

Oh wait - one more thing. Remember that Beatles band I talked about a few months ago? We finally recruited a lead guitarist and drummer. Our first show is January 14th at a comedy club. We're an opening act. We're playing some old stuff and newer stuff.

I was checking email on my blackberry this week while walking and I saw an open elevator door. I went for it, expecting the guy in the elevator to hold the doors for me. He didn't. I smacked my shoulder straight into the door and it almost knocked me to the ground (I guess I walk fast?) You know how sometimes door frames jump out and hit you in the shoulder? It was a little like that, except the door frame was moving. And the best part was that I hit my right shoulder, which nicely complimented the strain on the right side of my neck. Pretty soon I'll need to wrap myself in bubble wrap. I'll become the bubble boy. As long as my blackberry gets service in the bubble, that's ok with me.

I went to Austin this weekend for my Dad's birthday. My folks drove in to Austin and we all met up at my sister's house. We went to The Cheesecake Factory for lunch on Sunday and we brought the kids with us. Maya (4) and Max (2) were in full effect in the restaurant. Max busted out with a toy fuel-tanker truck that looked awfully familiar. It was emblazoned with the brand "HESS" which no longer makes gasoline, so I was wondering how my sister managed to get him a Hess truck. At that moment, my dad said, "You know where that truck comes from, right?" I answered no. He responded, "That was your truck. And those were your dinosaurs. We kept all of your toys, and they're Max's."

That was the coolest feeling. To know that my toys had survived all these years in some box in my parent's attic and were now passed on to my nephew really gave me the warm fuzzies.

At the exact moment this thought occurred to me, Max became possessed by a spontaneous and apparently uncontrollable urge to release the truck from his grip and send it on a direct crash course with the marble floor, thus permanently freeing the rear axles from the body of the truck.

Eh, it was just a plastic toy. Oh well. My dad thinks he can glue it back together. He can usually fix anything.

Does blogging from a blackberry on public transportation in Guanajuato make me a douche?

I played a prank on one of the women in the Accounting department last summer when I was an intern at the law firm. It was harmless and fun. I replaced her chair with an identical-looking reject I found at the office that happened to have a broken hydraulic lift resulting in the chair's sinking to the bottom of its height adjustment as soon as it was sat on. I also switched everything around on her desk so that anything that was on the right side was in its corresponding place on the left side. As a result of this move, I gained a reputation as something of a prankster in the office. This was not my intention, though I am not necessarily surprised.

For Christmas, one of the gifts my managing attorney gave me was rather peculiar. She gave me a prank kit of 12 pranks. I can't decide if she's condoning my prankish behavior or challenging me to apply it, perhaps on her. At either rate, she already blew my cover by giving me a box of pranks in front of the entire firm. Of course our firm's gift exchange was done with the entire firm present (there are only about 15 of us) so everyone knows that I am now in possession of a prank kit.

At either rate, I might use the boxed pranks as diversions for more sinister pranks. No one is safe.

This space used to have a You Tube video of Regina Spektor playing John Lennon's "Real Love." It has somehow disappeared. So here's what we're going to have to do. Click this link to reach a Google list of You Tube videos and please watch one.

Aside from testing the limits of my douchiness, I have also been doing other stuff and felt this would be an appropriate time to update my loyal fan-base!

I spent a week in San Miguel de Allende and loved it there; but a week was about as much as I could handle. Its really pretty and peaceful, but a little too peaceful for my taste.

I was set up with a nice very young girl by my family and felt like a dirty old man the entire time, she was 22, and I am 27.

I had my tarot read and found out 2008 would be a good year for me. I also found out that my aura was in bad shape and needed a cleansing. I have been given some magical potions and soaps to clean up my aura. My primary concern now is what happens if I realize I like it dirty? Where is the karmic mud to go play in?

Ive had to watch first hand the drama of having maids steal jewelry out of someone's house. I still think live in maids rock though and that an investment in a safe is always appropriate anywhere.

I have eaten lots of street tacos and fresh fruit from the street (gasp!!!) and did not die. I also brush my teeth with tap water. I really am living on the wild side!

Otherwise Ive been working and hanging out and going to random ruins and tourist places and it has been a good time.

I am going to the beach on Friday for new years which I am really looking forward too.

I hope everyone has a great new years and had a good christmas and an even better next year.

Evil I

I had a crazy weekend. Maybe not crazy according to Evil I's standards though, because he brushes his teeth with Mexican tap water and goes out with 22 year old girls. That's what I call crazy!

I hauled ass to Houston right after work on Friday and got in around 10 and went to straight to a bar, where I met up with some law school friends and John (he gets special mention becasue he's not "law school"). I then proceeded to get drunk. It's amazing what four pints of Harp will do when you have an empty stomach and you just sat in a car for four hours. Good times. After the hangover wore off Saturday morning, I realized I was completely congested and couldn't breathe. It seems I'm allergic to Houston.

After stopping by my parents' house to pick up a few things, my friend Megan and I went to a Jewish dining staple in Houston - the New York Hot Bagels Coffee Shop. I had bagels and lox (what else could I order?) and she had some kind of tuna salad thing. Megan is Catholic and loves learning about my Jewish-ness, so I had to show her a little bit of Jewish Houston. After that, we ran some thrilling errands - Bed, Bath, & Beyond and Target. I bought a new shower head and new towels. They rock. I had no idea towel-buying was so intense. Racks and racks of towels with varying degrees of softness. I'm happy with my purchase. My towels are amply soft, yet stylish.

I had dinner with a couple law school buddies at Barnaby's, which was fun. Then I went to another law school friend's party and schmoozed till 1 am - a truly late night indeed. I woke up this morning with that funny feeling you get when you're getting sick. I think I may be coming down with a sinus infection. Lucky me! Just in time for New Years Eve! With any luck I'll be hacking up gobs of gooeyiness in no time. Sorry for the unnecessary detail. I guess it's too late now though.

Getting back to the title of this post, I am about to leave town and head back to Dallas so i can catch the Ghostland Observatory show tonight with one of my workmates. I'm totally psyched. I saw this band at ACL and they were awesome. Totally unexpectedly good.

However, if I find any 22-year olds at the show, I may ask them out so I can live on the edge like Evil I. Details to come.