there's a new sheriff in particlemantown.

goes by the name of skorloff. i'll be posting here until p-man gets over the kissing disease, or until he just feels like taking his blog back.

except for using curse words, i’ve been given no guidelines for posting. i probably wasn’t going to cuss anyway, but now i'm extra tempted.

• law? nope.
• bikes? nope.
• stuff? what does that even mean?
• music? sure, but not what p-man usually posts about, then again, maybe a little.
• books? prolly, although i don’t read a lot of inscrutable freshman lit-type stuff. in most cases, i'll likely substitute movies for books.
• beer? almost certainly, but i may use that category to discuss other alcohol-based vices.

so there you have it, alcohol, movies, music and whatever "stuff" means.

p.s. i think it would be wise and diplomatic of me to apologize, in advance, to p-man’s immediate family, ancestors and future kin. i’m incorrigible and p-man should have known better.

-s

Like most people, I maintain a spreadsheet containing a list of all the movies I’ve watched over the last 4 1/2 years. I'm going to draw from that list a bit to bring you the authoritative (for now) list of my five favorite comedies.

1. Bringing Up Baby
   a classic from 1938 starring katherine hepburn, cary grant, and a leopard. this is hepburn and grant's second time to team. howard hawks directed and his signature dialog method is what makes this film so frenetic. he directed his actors to start their lines when the other actor still had a word or two left in their lines, so that they over-lapped slightly. this has the effect of shortening the screenplay when filmed (his screenplays would typically be almost twice as long as a movie with the same running length), stepping up the pace of the movie and making the dialogue more natural; think about it, most conversations involve you formulating a response before the other person has stopped talking. then again maybe you're not as impatient as i am. ok, i'm a jerk who can't wait for you to stop talking. shhh, i have something to say.

   the performances are chock full of good physical comedy and sight gags. part of the comedy comes from a technique also exploited by hitchcock (to different effect): telling the audience something that the characters don't know and won't find out until it's funny. hint, it involves the leopard.

2. Flirting With Disaster
   little-known throwback to ensemble farces from the 70s (think MASH or American Graffiti). i mean, patricia arquette, ben stiller, téa leoni, mary tyler moore, george segal, alan alda, and lily tomlin? was jack nicholson unavailable? written and directed by david o. russell (yes, the three kings guy), it deftly combines identity issues, neuroticism, erotic frisson, and lsd.

   great writing, good physical comedy. and a friggin' funny joke involving the surname Schlichting.
   
   

3. Raising Arizona
   (maybe too) obvious choice from the coen brothers (directed and co-written by joel, co-written by ethan). featuring one of my favorite actors of all time, holly hunter, this gem has all the pacing of a howard hawks movie, physical comedy involving a bunch of babies and the signature camera work of barry sonnenfeld (yes, the director of men in black and that dreadful pos, wild wild west).

   son, you've got a panty on your head.

4. Planes, Trains and Automobiles
   over-the-top romp from the former master of modern melodrama, john hughes. classic mis-matched buddy comedy broadly in the style of abbott and costello or laurel and hardy. steve martin plays it straight and john candy plays it jolly. john hughes is most famous for teen comedies from the 80s (pretty in pink, anyone? side note: who reading this blog didn't identify with duckie, at least a little bit) but this one was more for adults (immature adults, like me). it plays on adult fears like "being trapped in an airport", "having to ride on a bus" and "living a life of poverty and loneliness". see, basic comedy material!

   possibly the funniest quote from a movie that you've felt like saying yourself.

5. Three-way tie (ok, i suck at top five lists) between:
   His Girl Friday - another howard hawks movie starring cary grant and rosalind russell. it's been remade a hundred times (in fact this is a remake, too); but this is my favorite version. it's a battle-of-the-sexes comedy, the dialogue crackles, and has some hilarious schtick involving the death penalty.

   The Producers - mel brooks in top form. yes, it's since been super-commercialized as a broadway play and roadshow but the original will make your gut hurt from laughing. i'm just waiting for the spin-off full-blown broadway production of "Springtime for Hitler". that i might go see. zero mostel and gene wilder do the mis-matched buddy thing.

   Annie Hall - the best picture winner from 1976. can you believe that woody allen is responsible for academy awards? i love his movies and i'm still shocked to find out that he used to be commercial enough to garner academy attention. his movies have spawned 44 nominations and 9 awards (including 2 for director, 2 for writer and 1 for best picture). this one is a key part of the 70s american film revival and one of the more personal films from that era to be widely lauded. it also has one of the single greatest on-screen jokes, involves marshall mcluhan and the sorrow and the pity.

so, looking back, funny to me involves good dialogue, physical comedy, and the exploitation of your inner-most fears.

I wasn’t really “with it” when I was a teenager. I’m still not with it, despite impressions you might get from this here quasi-hip blog.

For example, one day at school, some kids were talking about rap. We were probably outside at recess smashing snow in each other’s faces. A majority of the kids in school were children of US Diplomats, meaning they all lived in Virginia. So when one kid asked me if I knew where Compton was, I answered, “Virginia.”

Any reaction by the other kids you can imagine is probably accurate.

well, after an uneventful blogging week (thanks EnormoCo!) it's time to announce the end of my pinch-blogging for pman.

make no mistake about it, blogging, like pimping, isn't as easy as it seems. at least good blogging isn't. i had no idea how time consuming it would be to draft a quality post with just the right amount of snark and just the right amount of funk. next time you see pman, ask him why he has so much free time to spend blogging and get back to me.

pman will be back soon regaling you with stories from his past present and future.

Like most people, I maintain a spreadsheet containing a list of all the movies I’ve watched over the last 4 1/2 years. I'm drawing from recent months of that list to bring you two movies to avoid at all costs.

1. What the #$*! Do We Know!?
   particleman.org is the place to bring bold new ideas to the world. I'll go way out on a limb here and postulate that science and religion don't mix well. Especially when that religion is dressed up as quantum mechanics. imagine spending 2 1/2 hours at a dianetics convention that had mostly phrenologists and astrologists on the guest-list. then imagine poking yourself in the eye with a fork. that's pretty much what watching this movie is like.
2. The Stepford Wives
   about two minutes into this movie i found myself wondering if i was suffering from a case of amnesia. how had i arrived here? who were all these people? what was up with this tiny bit of throw-up in my mouth? seriously, why had i rented this pos?

   the only theory that made any sense was the inclusion of nicole kidman in the cast. apparently, at some point in the past she had been in a lot of movies that I really liked. this movie has made me forget what those movies might have been, but according to the internet, she was, indeed in some really good movies: To Die For, The Others, The Hours, Dead Calm.

   if i had studied her filmography a little closer, i would have noticed that her inclusion was no assurance of a quality movie: Practical Magic, Far and Away, Batman Forever, Days of Thunder. Let's face it, with her track record, it's a wonder she hasn't been in a Smokey and the Bandit sequel. I'll be a little more careful in the future.

as always, the comment board is open.

Like most people, I maintain a spreadsheet containing a list of all the movies I’ve watched over the last 4 1/2 years. i'm drawing from that list to bring you a list of ten movies that i've seen that have soundtrack albums that i really like.

1. Boogie Nights (movie | soundtrack)

   movie: loved it. music: disco. 70s groove rock. 80s cheese. great party music. the deal: maybe i've lost perspective. maybe i like the movie too much. nevertheless, i love the soundtrack album (even though it happens to feature songs by both night ranger and rick springfield). both volumes. i've even bought extra tracks featured in the movie but not on the albums (i'm a compleatist, i needed "sunny" by boney m). even more, when i put all the tracks on the girl's ipod i reordered them to play in the same order as they appear in the movie. yes, i'm insane. bonus track: "feel the heat" as performed by dirk diggler and reed rothchild. the heat will rock you. also, don't forget, the heat will roll you.

2. City of God (movie | soundtrack)

   movie: loved it. music: dreamy and often funky brazilian. has one of the saddest, simplest songs that i can't understand any of the words to. the deal: wicked raw movie shot on location in some of the poorest places in the world. music the soundtrack album really stands on its own. so much of the music as used in the film is textural. i had to watch it twice to notice my favorite song (mentioned above). it's not like it's one of those tracks in the background that happens to be playing on someone's radio; it's used as score. the scene just happens to be so intense that the music is like foley. bonus track: the soundtrack also has two volumes of remixes. each sold separately. each interesting in their own way.

3. The Royal Tenenbaums (movie | soundtrack)

   movie: loved it. music: score by the guy from devo and mostly disaffected 70s new york and london rock
   the deal: wes anderson gets a lot less credit for his song selection than quentin tarantino does. i'm not sure why that is. sure, tarantino is more likely to use the theme from hong kong phooey and we all know that that would be friggin' hilarious. but wes anderson seems to actually get inside his characters heads for the music that he chooses. this record is rich. the score alone is worth the price of admission. bonus track: "look at me" by john lennon

4. Monsoon Wedding (movie | soundtrack)

   movie: loved it. music: all-over the map indian and pakistani music. from acoustic film music to indian techno
   the deal: the movie is pure sweetness and heartbreak and joy. the soundtrack album delivers the same. the album features the bridal shower song from the movie, "Mehndi/Madhorama Pencha". i have no idea what the lyrics mean or what the words are but i sing along every time i hear it.
   bonus track: "aaj mausam bada beiman hai (today the weather plays tricks on me)" by mohammad rafi

5. Rushmore (movie | soundtrack)

   movie: loved it.
   music: score by the guy from devo and 60s british invasion.
   the deal: wow. it's like a movie all by itself. my theory is that wes anderson made this as a mix-tape when he was 17 and frustrated in the ways of love. there's just too much pathos invested in each track for this to be simple accompaniment to a moving picture. i've never been been that into the who, but "a quick one while he's away" is worth the eight minutes, if you've seen the movie that's all you'll be able to think of while hearing it.
   bonus track: "nothing in this world can stop me worryin' bout that girl" by the kinks.

6. 54 (movie | soundtrack)

   movie: among the worst movies i've ever seen.
   music: disco. straight up. ok, not that straight.
   the deal: i can't think of anything to say about this movie. it was the turd that wouldn't flush for two hours. in 15 years, when mike myers is trying to get roles wherein people take him seriously as an actor, someone will trod this pos out and they'll give the role to a serious actor like seann william scott.

   except for those weird mashups and remakes they made just for the movie. the soundtrack album (both volumes) is great party music, the song selection is impeccable. really iconic songs like "i need a man" by grace jones, "vertigo/relight my fire" by dan hartman and "spank" by "jimmy 'bo' horne" - as big a disco fan as i am, i'd never heard these songs before. then again, i am lazy. bonus track: "contact" by edwin starr. yes, the guy that did "war" (as in "huh, what is it good for?") is responsible for one of my desert island songs and it's not "war", it's a disco song.

7. Garden State (movie | soundtrack)

   movie: it was what it was. maybe it wasn't so much for me.
   music: hip introspective rock for navel-gazers. like me.
   the deal: man, why is this record so cheap? i spent like $8 on it. it's almost like some record companies are trying to promote some relatively smaller bands with a movie. wait a minute...

   my two favorite tracks on it are "in the waiting line" by zero 7 and "lebanese blonde" by thievery corporation. the former reminds me of the movie. the latter just rules. bonus track: "the only living boy in new york" by simon & garfunkel

8. 24 Hour Party People (movie | soundtrack)

   movie: loved it.
   music: late 70s punk and early 80s electronic
   the deal: what a great telling of an interesting micro-moment in music history. the scene where joy division records the drum for "she's lost control again" was eye-opening and wonderful for me.

   i have a real soft spot for joy division. i have another soft spot for the earliest new order (before they forgot about ian curtis). and to think, before i saw this movie i knew almost nothing of happy mondays. bonus track: "she's lost control again" by joy division. i swear, i've heard like 30 different versions of this song. this is version 31 for me.

9. Jackie Brown (movie | soundtrack)

   movie: loved it.
   music: quentin tarantino
   the deal: No self-respecting list of post-modern soundtracks would be complete without a quentin tarantino movie. Sure, i liked the Pulp Fiction soundtrack a lot, but Jackie Brown is the record i'd put on at a party when i want to seem cool and knowing. bonus track: "Longtime Woman" by Pam Grier

10. Dead Presidents (movie | soundtrack)

    movie: not so much.
    music: 60s and 70s r&b the deal: the movie was all over the place. it suffered from a serious identity crisis. it's a story of someone who is dealing with life in the 60s (a movie by itself), lives through hell in viet nam (a movie by itself), engages in a serious heist (a movie by itself). unfortunately, there was not the space to accomplish any of those three missions with any clarity in this one flick.

    the soundtrack album (both volumes), on the other hand, stands on its own. it's great r&b, it's powerful music. sure, it has james brown, but you'll remember it for curtis mayfield; from a live version of "we people darker than blue" to "if there's hell below" to "right on for darkness". it's also unique for two great isaac hayes songs (i believe they were released specifically for this movie): "the look of love" (originally popularized by dusty springfield) and "walk on by" (originally popularized by dionne warwick). bonus track: "if you want me to stay" by sly and the family stone.

yes, there others that i like and maybe even others that i like better. i didn't even have time to go into Saturday Night Fever (movie | soundtrack).

as always, the comment board is open.

i changed the charity for my particleman and particlegirl stores. while the red cross is good, i don't think it was motivating people. i've chosen a charity that means more to me. the Mr. Holland's Opus Foundation raises money for music education programs throughout the country, including 15 schools right here in Tejas. let's get those kids playing a new double bass, trumpet, sax, or some other instrument that might get them cool points. the links are at the top-right of this page. thanks.

since p-man is distracted I can make a mindless blog post and he wont criticize my bad punctuation grammar or speling but anyways I just bought tickets for the simpsons movie and I am excited so you should be excited for me

good luck to all you future lawyers by the way and try not to be the bottom 17 percent

Evil I

For my last five birthdays I have thrown five large Halloween parties that were modeled after a fraternity party I went to years and years ago. They generally included costumes, beer, liquor, and every person I knew that I could get to come out. They also included silly things like my penis costume, my Jesus costume, my French maid costume, and the bottle of absinthe I got two years ago. For pictures feel free to look at www.isdaco.com.

This year Ive decided that I am getting too old to be throwing frat parties. The benefit of the party is completely overshadowed by the effort, stress, and cleanup involved. I still want to celebrate, but I need something different for this year. Any ideas anyone?

Does blogging from a blackberry on public transportation in Guanajuato make me a douche?